Got a Ferrari?
Not quite good enough at driving?
Are other boys faster than you in the wet?
Then you need:
Ferrari International Assistance (FIA)
This exclusive Ferrari only membership club has many benefits.
Including:
Anti overtaking assurance
Been overtaken? Feel a bit silly? Don't worry, we'll rule out the
other party even if it is embarrassingly obvious that they're faster
than you
Exclusive access to a secret "second lane" in the pits
Just to make things a little bit easier we've arranged a private
second lane just for you
Guaranteed world championship?
Had a crash? Need to win the world championship? Don't worry just limp
across the track and take off your nearest championship title
contender - we'll do the rest
A bit strapped? Need extra cash?
Simply get one of your team to tell someone else how you make your
cars. We'll guarantee a $100,000,000 windfall so that the rich get
richer!
Bits falling off your car? Looking a bit dangerous?
At Ferrari International Assistance we operate a "blind eye" policy
just for Ferrari drivers
Been a bit silly? Taken off another driver whilst following the safety
car?
It's ok, as long as you didn't hurt yourself. I mean, who are Force
India anyway? And how dare they be in front of you
A bit bored? Want some extra action?
With FIA plus you can take part in a number of additional membership
activities including the popular "kill your pit crew" game
Not sure when you might need us next?
Relax. Check out our track record. We're confident that we'll be able
to make something up on the spot that will get you out of any pickle
that you might find yourself in
Bonus offer!
* Order our FIA plus pack and receive exclusive access to our German
prisoner orgies *
Ferrari International Assistance - Making it up as we go along for
over 100 years